After our daughter was born, I knew life would be different. Intellectually, I had understood this. However, I didn't really "get it" until I looked that newborn in the eyes. It was one of those epiphanies that friends with children had tried to share....but couldn’t.
I had a similar reaction when I read about the film documentary called “Flat Daddy”.
As military families across the United States endure the repeated deployment of loved ones to Afghanistan and Iraq, many have attempted to fill the void with “Flat Daddies” and “Heroes on a Stick,” life-sized cardboard cutouts of their husbands, wives, parents and children serving overseas. Using these two-dimensional surrogates as a connecting thread, Flat Daddy follows four such families over the course of a year to explore the lasting impact of the war on those left behind.
I was so struck by this documentary and an associated article here that I reached out to VoiceQuilt military families. Many had shared voice messages online with loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan across a wide range of events: birthdays, wedding anniversaries and Christmas
Some had heard of “Flat Daddy”; many had not. All, however, shared how difficult deployments are on families -- especially kids. Here are a few comments excerpted from their emails.
“We have a flat daddy ( a copy I had placed on a life size photo poster board made at Kinkos) and a puff daddy. This is a pillow that has my husband's full body photo with a recorded message in it that my son can hear anytime by pressing on it (this is created via a website called hugs for hero's). I got both of these made before my husband deployed after we had my first child so that he could see him daily.”
“So few Americans really understand what happens in military families and the current conflicts have challenged our communities more than ever with back to back year long deployments in areas of conflict. Perhaps this documentary will shine a light on what we do and have done to raise our children/grandchildren while their fathers and mothers serve in uniform.”
I thought I knew something about the stresses on military families. My college roommate is a military spouse. However, I just didn’t “get it” until I read about Flat Daddy.
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